Pulse Blogger: The manly female

Black Girls Rock by TomBoy

"Having big breasts does not necessary make any one 'female': I have seen men with breasts, and big too… Have breasts, flaunt curves, shake the booty… Those are the societal representation of what a woman should look like, what a woman should be…"

Mens clothes? Clothes are clothes if they fit.

Tomboy.

What comes to your mind when you hear the 'manly female'? Someone who does what a man can do, better? Or a synonym of 'tomboy'? Who is a tomboy to start with?

Many adjectives I have seen/ heard used to describe a tomboy in my lifetime,  but these are my favourites; powerful, strong, confident, determined, rebellious, adventurous and bold.

Having big breasts does not necessary make any one 'female': I have seen men with breasts, and big too. Big is however relative. Also, the lack of it, does not give a lady an automatic dick.

Have breasts, flaunt curves, shake the booty… Those are the societal representation of what a woman should look like, what a woman should be. Definitely a deviation from the core feminine staples- "boyish, non-feminine, aggressive (not necessarily, but you get the picture), I have come to embrace that being a tomboy is not necessarily a decision,  it's an attitude.

Assumptions.

'So you want to change who you are?', 'You know you are indirectly telling God He did not create you well, right?' These and many more I have heard times and times again. Not to me (at least not in the clothing department), but to people I know, people I do not necessarily care about but support anyways.

The stereotype associated with being a female especially in a African society is on full blast.

Read Also: Broken, Damaged. Floating

 

Misconceptions.

  • Oh! So I heard someone say, 'tomboys are low maintenance'. What? Care to know how expensive boots are? And trust me, most tomboys are shoes obsessed.

And please, don't get me started with the tomboys are lesbians stories. While I have absolutely nothing against transgender and gays, it's important to not that being a tomboy is not an automatic ticket to being a gay/transgender.

  • Boys like them: One of the most common statements in the average African home that follows a supposed deviation from the norm is "Who will marry you." Not necessarily a question.  In fact, it's definitely not a statement you want to reply, because then you would have to start up on 'stories', that's if you get that far.

Tomboys get married. A lot. And to the opposite sex too.

  • Parenting skills: Most people believe that the parenting gene is embedded in the female body. After all, you are female and you are just supposed to know how to deal with babies and children generally. Contrary to this is the unpopular opinion,  which is true, parenting is learnt, not in born and definitely not restricted to a particular gender. Our society has however conditioned our narrative, not necessarily intentionally, but howbeit deliberate that a woman is an automatic parenting encyclopedia.

Read Also: Time; A terrain in-between

 

Tomboys are badass moms. They get an 'A' for parenting. Although they might not follow the conventional narrative of being a mother.

  • Feminine appeals: There is this common misconception that tomboys do not like feminine and womanly things, that's a mistake. They do. They want to be 'pretty' too, they like barbie stuffs and 'zee world' and pink… they just enjoy sports and general man talk more, so you would be correct to say they relate to manly roles than female roles.

  • Sexuality: Tomboys because they lean more to the considerable male 'duties' are thought to want a gender change. No. They do not want to change their sexuality (most of them anyways), they are just generally more receptive to manly roles.

Comfortability.

Is being a tomboy a blessing or a curse? Or what should be thought about the guy in  the girl? The key thing with tomboys is being comfortable.

Trust me, being, acting or trying to act all girly is not just stressful,  but annoyingly time demanding. This is not to say tomboys do not take time to care for themselves. You would agree with me that tees are overly comfortable. Who doesn't like them?

Rachael Zoe said; "Style is a way to speak without saying anything at all." Talk about being you, confident,  happy and living the life? Oh! Just look at a tomboy. Even with the occasional stares, more often than necessary, annoyingly irritating but humbling questions; "Are you male or female?" Enjoying style remains key; loving and flaunting it as deemed fit.

Being a manly female, I prefer that to 'tomboy' is comfortable, stylish and above all, timeless.  Talk about not having to worry about being 'old school' or 'outdated fashion-wise: No compulsion whatsoever,  necessary and unnecessary to worry about colors, designs or trends.

I however do not like the term 'tomboy'. Why? It almost makes it seem like there is  a right or wrong way to be a girl/woman.

Written by Christiana Osun.

Christiana is a writer dedicated to voicing out thoughts we’d rather not complete: Presenting our realities and sharing relatable experiences and thoughts provoking subjects. She’s sarcastic, fun loving and an enigma of possibilities. Instagram: @_themillenniallady_  Twitter: @_millenniallady  Facebook:OSUN Christiana Oluwadamilola  Email: krwistee@gmail.com

Source: Pluse ng

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